The Refactoring Ritual

Gather round, junior developers. It is time for the sacred rite of Refactoring.

The Preparation

First, we must brew the coffee. It must be black as the void of a null pointer. We must don the noise-canceling headphones of silence. We must open the IDE of power.

The Incantation

We chant the holy words: “Extract Method,” “Rename Variable,” “Inline Temp.” We cast out the demons of duplication. We banish the spirits of magic numbers.

The Sacrifice

We must sacrifice the old tests. They are brittle and weak. We shall write new tests, stronger tests, tests that actually assert something other than true.

The Result

The code is clean. It shines with the light of readability. For about three days. Then, the deadlines come, and the darkness returns.